Feeling a little Blue

December 23...a night that I have dreaded since the beginning talks of the deployment that would take him away during this time of year. 

I worked at Cherokee Temps in Broken Arrow and one of our clients was ELT (Electronics Labeling Company) at Elm and 71st. I was in charge of looking for people to work for this company and had to take them down there to introduce them to their new supervisors. During a walk through of the company I was introduced to all of the supervisors in their departments. I was led through the warehouse back to shipping and receiving where I was introduced to one of THE hottest guys I have EVER met in my life. From that day forward I made every trip down to ELT for whatever reason I could think of. I was first to offer to run checks down to them, first to offer to show around new hires, first to go do anything down the street just so I could talk to Jason Spriggs. I remember floating home almost daily. As it got closer to Christmas I began to ask him what he wanted for Christmas and he told me a Porsche. So I would not seem TOO obvious, I also asked the other two guys working in that area what kind of cars they wanted for Christmas. I hit Walmart after work that day and found all three of the cars for the guys. I wrapped them up and took them down there to them. Again, I didn't want to seem too obvious so I made sure to pay attention to all three of them that day and gave all three of them cars for Christmas. 

His Porsche sits on our nightstand next to the bed to this day. :) 

December 23...When I gave him his car he thought it was funny and told me that I would have to help him spend some gift cards he had received for Tony Roma's from a client. I thought he was totally joking so I told him sure, I can do that and left to go back to work. I seriously thought he was joking - until I got back to work and got the phone call from him that would eventually change my life forever. He was asking when would be a good time to go out. I wanted to fall over - never in my wildest dreams did I think this man would want to go out with me. Haha!!

December 23...this is the night Jason and I had our first date many moons ago. Every year we go out on a date to celebrate our Dateaversary (as we like to call it) :) We have gone out every December 23 from that very first night. Our first date was at Tony Roma's and for the first couple of years we went there every year. Then one year there was a freak snowstorm that put the city on shutdown. But that didn't stop us from going out - we still went out to try to go to Tony Roma's - but they were closed due to the weather so we found someplace new that year. And for every year afterward we have spent this evening together. 

December 23, 2012 - this year I feel rather lost without him here. This is the first time we have EVER missed going out and I have to admit that I am lonely and missing him tonight more than ever. 

Jesus is the Reason...

So with the coming of Christmas I have noticed this saying all over the place - on store front windows, on Christmas cards, on billboards, Social media sites - it is everywhere. 

Jesus is the Reason for the Season

I have to admit, when I see the words publicly displayed it warms my heart, but in all honesty, I wonder why these words only come out now, around this time of year. Obviously I am well aware of the WHY - because the birth of Christ is celebrated at Christmas. I understand Jesus is the reason for the season, but isn’t He the reason for everything? Why is everyday not about Him? Why can’t the saying be something like Jesus is the reason for you breathin’ or something like that? 

I attended The Christmas Train at Dry Gulch this year and rode the train around the story of Jesus’ life. I cry every time I witness it - especially the crucifixion and the resurrection. For some reason, this year, it had more of an impact on me. I watched as the people beat Him and hurt Him and thought ‘That’s me’ - I am responsible for every scratch He has on His body, I am responsible for the blood pouring from His wounds. For every time I have had those thoughts, said those words, done those things it is as if I were the one standing there whipping Him, beating Him, and making Him bleed. I listened as the people laughed and mocked Christ hanging on the cross and thought ‘That’s me too’ - every time I do something that I know I ought not be doing that is me mocking Him while He hangs there broken and bruised. I watched as he hung His head and heard Him crying out to God - His dad. I thought about all the times that God wants nothing more than for me to cry out to Him and instead I hang on to every hurt, every disappointment, every fear like I am hoarding them. As the train rounded the corner I saw the tomb where Jesus was laid to rest. I saw the light and smoke pouring from the entrance and the people lifting their hands in worship and praise. 

Luke 24:6 He is not here; he has risen!!! 

I was immediately filled with joy (and more tears), only this time they were different - this time they were cleansing, as if He were standing right there with me. And I realized He was...He always has been - even during the moments when I don’t realize it. He is here holding me up at this very moment in my life, He is here with me as I write this and as the tears stream down my face even more, He is ALWAYS here. He came back for me, as if I were the only person in the world, He came back for me. He took all of the pain, the beatings, the name calling, the mocking, the doubt - all of it for me. 


See, the sad part of this is I already know this - I have been taught numerous times that He died for me to set me free but to see it play out in front of me just brought such a realness to me that I can’t explain. Does this mean I will be perfect from this point forward? No - only one person in the entire existence of time has been perfect and that was Jesus. Does this mean that I am going to start going around and thumping people in the head with my Bible to get them to wake up? No - there is no way in the world that I could possibly force someone to see the reality of what this is. This just simply means that I have been reminded by a God who loves me what life is about - it is not about the  money in your account, the clothes in your closet, or the material possessions you own. It is about the love of a God, of a Savior, who went to the cross for me and did something no one else in my lifetime can ever do for me - He loves me enough to love me unconditionally, to die for me, and to set me free from everything. 

Merry Christmas to all of you! May the love of your Savior be the best gift you could ever receive.

2 Corinthians 9:15 Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!!

Garment of Praise

Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)
...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.

Today I am consciously making myself look for the beauty in the ashes, the oil of joy, & the garment of praise. 

Murphy's Law of Deployment strikes again. This morning started like any other morning - getting the kids up and out the door for school. Although this sounds like a simple thing to accomplish, I can assure you it is not. Waking them up is not too much of a problem, it is the aftermath that ensues that is the issue. This morning was no exception to the rule - bickering, belittling, fighting - and that was just within the first 30 minutes of being out of bed. 

After finally making it out the door I discover that my car just isn't up to the challenge today - it won't start, not even a little. For a moment I had a slight panic attack wondering how in the world I was going to get these kids to school. I have no one else at home, my mom is at work in Tulsa and my neighbors are not available. Oh wow - what am I going to do? Then it dawned on me - I have The Beast just sitting in the driveway - duh!!! 

Blessing #1 for the day - I have another mode of transportation should the need arise. 

Upon arriving back home I pondered calling AAA to come jump my car so I can go purchase a new battery. However, the survivor instinct stubbornness in me took over and I Googled how to jump a car. (For real, I have never done this before - stop laughing). Found the jumper cables in the back of the truck and off I went. Connect this, don't let this one touch metal, do this, don't do that. Finding something to ground it to was the hardest part honestly - there is a bunch of plastic under my hood and not much metal. But once I found the metal, and got over the initial shock of seeing those sparks fly, we were good to go. Turn the beast on, wait, turn the car on, and now do everything in reverse order. Made some more sparks and the car was running - until I tried to back it out of the garage. At this point it decided to freak out on me - lights were flickering all over, needles on my gauges were spinning, & I lost my ABS and power steering. 

I should probably also add that my awesome husband was also texting me directions on how to jump the car - fortunately we were not on a live call or he probably would have freaked a little when I screamed and jumped from the sparks I created - haha

Blessing #2 for the day - learning a new skill that may come in handy again someday.

At this point the situation has become a little irritating and laughable all at the same time. I have to call AAA to come tow my baby to Broken Arrow (BTW - if you are EVER in need of a mechanic/automotive shop Greg's Automotive in Broken Arrow is the absolute best - IMHO). 

Blessing #3 for the day - Greg's Automotive - these guys have always gone out of their way to help me.

So for today I have been stuck driving The Beast. Jase absolutely LOVES his truck but me? It's not that I don't love it to, it does come in handy quite often, I just HATE driving it. Think about it - I am normally driving a little bitty Mazda3 that could almost fit in the bed of this thing! I am always afraid I am going to take someone out in it because it is so big! However, The Beast has really bald tires - I was told today that the front tires are a little under a 2 and the back tires are at a 1 (I'll be honest, I know that means they are bad but I am not sure exactly how those numbers tell me anything - maybe it has something to do with tread depth??) So on top of hating to drive it on a normal day, now I am driving it with tires that could give out at any minute. It is going to Hibdon in the morning for new tires.

Blessing #4 for the day - discovering I have open credit on an old Hibdon CC so I can pay for new tires for The Beast tomorrow.

As a side note to this - I may HATE driving it - but I can park this bad boy like none other. (no curb checks and no hitting the basketball goal)

Like a GLOVE!!!!

 (admit it - Jim Carrey just said that in your head)

Introducing....me!

So I seriously never realized that setting up a blog could possibly be so time consuming. I have been working on it for quite awhile and to be honest - it doesn't really look like it. I mean, the layout if fairly simple and I have a total of two pictures on it. Haha

I have had a blog before and never kept up with it but I hope this time will prove to be different. 

There are so many things going on in my life at this time that it will be hard to cram all of them in here without writing a novel. However, I can't imagine anyone sitting still long enough to read everything I could put in here so I do believe some bullet points are in order.

• My best friend and the love of my life is currently serving his country overseas. 
• The positive of this is that I can attest to absence making the heart grow fonder. 
• The negative - just about everything else. :)

• My kids are the best thing that have ever happened to me. And yes, I truly believe this, even when I want to pinch their little heads off.
• My son is on a journey of his own at this point going from boy to man within a matter of years.

• My daughter is also on her own journey but still not quite to those drama years - at least not yet. 

• I have never been more thankful than I am right now for my mom. I honestly don't think I tell her often enough how much she means to me and how thankful I am to have her in my life.
• As a side note - my mom is a beautiful woman inside and out - however, she would kill me if I put a picture of her on here. :)

My life is definitely a roller coaster but I am trying to learn to enjoy the ride.

Tina