Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Every year starting on January 1st our church asks us to fast for the first 21 days of the new year. During that time we are supposed to lay aside something natural and pray for the lost and the exiled. This year (like most years) I had no idea what I wanted to give up. In the past it has been trips to Quik Trip as I used to visit there at least three times a day. I have also signed off from Facebook for the first part of the year before. But this year was different - I was going in and had NO CLUE what I wanted to give up. Some suggested to me that I give up smoking - while this is all fine and good (and something that does need to happen) I did not think this was a time for me to do that - I am supposed to spend that time praying for others to live in Christ - not to wish they would just disappear in a hole in the ground due to the moodiness of this nicotine addiction. Others suggested I give up pop - since I very rarely drink pop I did not think that was a good one either as I would only pray about 5 or 6 times during the time span. I have heard people have given up desserts, sweets, TV, technology all together, and the list goes on and on. It wasn’t until I was 3 days into the new year that I discovered what was being asked of me to give up.
It was NEGATIVITY.
There are things going on in my world that I have never thrown out there for anyone to know about. There are things that I have shared with friends but not everything. But no one, and I mean NO ONE, (other than God) knows how truly negative I was becoming inside. I could not see the beauty of anything anymore and no matter what good thing might happen I was quick to see it falling apart. I have never really been a ‘glass half full’ person anyway so to fall into the negativity trap was easy for me. I didn’t even notice that it was affecting my relationships, my health, my soul. It was becoming too easy to gripe and complain and moan and groan about poor little ol’ me, me, me. Until one day I just stopped and thought about it and like a freight train it hit me. Without going into a lot of detail - I realized most of the things I was complaining about could end with me. In the last 15 days I have realized that negativity does not have to control my life - I can see through a different set of eyes and try to see the situations I have encountered from a different point of view. Although I have not handled everything perfectly (which is impossible anyway since my initials are TRS and not JC), I think I have greatly improved. I feel better, my steps are lighter, and I can honestly answer wonderful when someone asks me how I am doing. This does not mean everything in my life has been turned right side up and that everything is going great - it means that I have made the choice to not let it get to me and tear me apart. I still have some things to work through and I still have some things that are eating at me but I know that God is in the midst of working all of those out for my good.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him...
